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Mindfulness: what we're capable of

11/26/2020

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What we're really capable of...

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I’ve just reread a section of a book I’ve come to love and cherish. Meditation As Medicine: Activate the Power of Your Natural Healing Force by Dharma Singh Khalsa, M.D., and Cameron Stauth. In the chapter on Mental Focus and the “Mind-Power Effect”, the authors detail a sampling of a multitude of reviewed studies on the effect of human intention upon our world. Surprisingly, the most provoking results came from experiments concerned with our psychic interactions with physical inanimate objects. These recounts are particularly unnerving for me because they grate against most of what we know and hint at an unknown that can barely be examined by scientific means as of yet. The experiments described in the book and future explorations inspired by them are going to “push the envelope” in novel ways and truly challenge our current conceptions.
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In one such experiment, researchers asked monks and other practitioners of various types of mindfulness techniques or mediation to attempt to affect the outcomes of a simple but completely encased random number generator. In different versions of the experiment, they asked the mindfulness practitioners to affect generators before, during, and after their programs were run. The recorded results are nothing short of amazing. Not only can humans affect the outcome of what we have manifested as a “random” number generator. We can even impact the generators’ outcomes after they have run their course. Our present outlook, and it’s comprising thoughts and intentions, can impact our future. Interviewees and CEOs rejoice!

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Let’s pause to integrate that. 
This series of scientific wonders, and several others like it, give life to the idea that the mind does have a tangible and possibly even measurable sway over matter, to some degree. The implications of these experiments for the practice of yoga thrill as well. If holding clarified intentions in a meditative state can have an effect on inanimate matter, what might we be capable of if we intended upon ourselves? There are numerous cultural and religious contexts that make this more “relevant” to our average human existence. Prayer, intuitive healing, baptism, bar mitzvah, and a number of other rites are some examples.
 

In much the same way, I judge yoga, and especially Kundalini yoga, are excellent technologies to approach the application of intention upon one’s being. Many actions can lead to integration, union, relinquishment, awareness. And there are many avenues and angles to any given goal or target. Patangali’s 8 Limbs of Yoga then become a roadmap of sorts for internal navigation. Such voyages may seem fruitless yet reap meaningful insight. For some, their callings beckon strongly, and when followed, guide us toward our deepest truths. The whispers that can set our minds at ease, our hearts to rest, and our spirit to flight, if we are ready to listen. 

When I let that idea sing, Zion emerges. Where heaven unfurls upon this plane, like a petal in a pond. Fragile at best but filling in its fleeting nature. I need to be in a world where I can get back to every fractured fragment of my soul just by following the flow of my breath. I dream to be in a plane that allows me to apply will to pour fluidly into action and breathe deeply into every beat of my heightened heart. I am most thankful for this magic in my life.

Thus Spake Maek
Nov. 26, 2020
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Mindfulness: listening, "war within"

11/23/2020

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Listening to a "war within"

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“When we avoid conflict to make peace with others, we start a war within.”
​ Brene Brown

I first discovered Brene Brown on Ted.com. I was thumbing through a rabbit hole of TedTalks after I found the curating features. I was sucker for the “inspiring” and “science and technology” tags. And I was hooked deep after I encountered her first talk about her research on vulnerability. From the moment she opened her mouth, there was something familiar. I thought “this woman tells stories like my mother tells stories.” She even looks a bit like her too. And she’s currently based in central Texas, where I am as well.

Later, I found an interview she gave with Russell Brand. These two people are bright beacons of hope and human understanding in the world. I am so thankful for their contributions- comedic, serious, or otherwise. After listening to their hilarious discussion of their take on a whole mess of current topics, I sought out more. Admittedly, I have yet to read any of her books, but I seriously consider myself a die-hard fan. I sincerely appreciate how she humanely delivers what we all need to hear, herself included. I respect her “student of life” attitude. “I’m here to get it right, not to be right.” My continued search uncovered Unlocking Us, the podcast Brene Brown launched in 2019. After several episodes, I am thoroughly enjoying the content she is creating. 
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It’s in her conversation with Russell Brand that Brene Brown references her work with the concepts surrounding the quote this post starts with. I was dumbfounded the moment she said it. Just like she does with her podcast guests, I had to stop short and take the effect of these words in. To integrate my understanding and let it slowly shift a mess of self-conceptions inside me. It felt like she was talking directly to me, and it felt like I was ready to hear it and listen deeply. 

After hearing it, I said to myself, “I do this.”  And I also said to myself, “and it’s killing me!” I was suddenly aware of so much self-suffering. I had been carrying significant sadness in this fact too, like I knew it but was not aware of it until that moment. I had already correlated compromises at the interpersonal level triggering conflict that was relevant only to me. But it didn’t dawn on me that the simple intention to avoid conflict (something that I had learned to do to survive while working in mental health treatment services), could actually cause more harm than good. I have damn good reasons to avoid the hundreds of conflicts I tiptoed around in the past year of my life too, and a whole storm of self-misery and loathing to show for it. 
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I am still working to remain aware of when I am avoiding conflict at my own expense. My work environment has changed drastically over the last 6 months. But this remains truer now that it ever has because if I don’t listen, this unrest within will never settle.

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Without having read her books, I don’t have the context of her research as she described it around this quote but my instinct tells me what I refer to is relevant. As someone who has gone by the moniker “Maek Peace” before (and still uses maek.peace@gmail.com), and who presently holds the name Maek as a chosen first name, I can personally attest. I have certainly felt a stress or tension within myself after avoiding conflict/ contrast that turned out to be vitally important to my well-being. There are times that I can literally pick it out of the myriad of thoughts in any given moment. There is this dark, deeply happy undertone that has been crossed, and has had enough. It’s character- the voice and words it uses are sometimes rough, like medicine hard to swallow. But it always has my future and my spirits' future at heart.
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When I allow myself to be present and listen into this stream directly, usually with the guidance of my therapist, I am often amazed at how informative it can be. There, I can pinpoint what limits or boundaries have been crossed. I can find the words for the anger or sadness felt for their breechings. When I listen to what roils after feeling overwhelmed, it’s usually about: sensory processing (often environmental factors); interpersonal words or actions that create powerful emotions; or feeling as if you are not understood or belong. Point being: even the pain can teach us, can be our guru. Our internal struggles reflect our perspective of our external ones. And if we ever find that there is a voice of unrest within ourselves, let us remember that it must have something important to say that has not been heard. Poor chap. He’s had to yell over all that doom-scrolling and Youtube clips to find your attention. Are you listening to the music within?

Thus Spake Maek
​Nov. 23, 2020



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Mindfulness: reflection is revolutionary

11/15/2020

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Reflection is... revolutionary.

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I often think back after teaching a yoga class. I’m sure many teachers of any variety are familiar with the practice. In fact, in my training as a secondary educator, we were strongly encouraged to include this tool in our teaching life. When I look back, I reflect upon my intentions for the class or session I led. I examine how I met these aims, how I forestalled? What impeded my success? I judge it’s vital to the craft of pedagogy to have and nurture this process of cyclical feedback. But, as I did so today (after hosting a virtual Kundalini yoga class), I became aware of just how revolutionary this sort of “reflection” is.
(strap yourself in. We’re getting a bit… meta- in the mirror.)

The image of myself in front of a mirror comes to mind. There are very few known creatures in this world that are conscious of their reflection. The topic fascinates. To the point that there are several well-known scientific studies surrounding the concept. And what did we find? What did our explorations of the mirror uncover? The beings that are aware of their reflections in a mirror- humans, some cats, dolphins, apes, and certain birds like parrots and corvids - all share a certain intelligence. An intelligence we can relate to. So much so that many of humanity’s greatest creative endeavors depict amalgamations of animals, humans, and spirit. 
So, what’s really happening when we gaze into a mirror? 
In my humble judgement, humans reflect in front of mirrors. 

Humans, especially, have a distinct sense of self. Modernity and the advent of social media have also certainly changed the game of identity/ self, for us. So, I am wholly confident that when humans gaze into mirrors, we are engaged- consciously, mentally, and (if you are so inclined) spiritually. Look at our treatment and focus on “the selfie.”
Let’s step back further. 
Even just imagining myself looking into a mirror triggers a level of self-reflection for me. Maybe this is an individual phenomenon. However, my instincts tell me that this might be true for most of us. And if that is true, then reflection begets reflection. 

The image of what we recognize, what our brain and body registers as “me in this world,” in essence should do this...right? What we are is the product of previous action, reflection, imagination, manifestation. The “me” in front of you is a painting of sorts. It has layers, depth, perspective, mood, vision.     

If we look to yoga for some perspective here, a familiar but maybe not completely known concept can lend some guidance. Many of us are familiar with terms like mantra and tantra but their relation is often overlooked. The root antra- is the Sanskrit word for the “seed” of any thought within the wonder that is the human mind. And as the beauty that is thought unfurls within and grows, you can picture it as facets of a jewel being revealed. They are all part of the same structure, same organism but each dazzles and awes in their own unique way. 
Mantra is then, any sound or vibration/frequency that characterizes the seed antra. 

Tantra is the essential duality that exists in order for said antra to be. 
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Yantra is any visual arrangement/representation that exemplifies said antra.

There are other kinds of “facets” for every seed of thought but the yantra is the one that stands to teach us. What if we look to our reflection within the framework of yantra?
    My reflection (a kind of yantra) is a visual arrangement/representation of an antra, a seed of thought. 

So then, such reflection begs to query, what antra am I manifesting? What “seed” do I see before me?

Thus Spake Maek
​Nov. 15, 2020




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Mindfulness: relate to breath

11/14/2020

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I relate to the breath

Reflections on control of the breath in yoga, life.

In my recent attempt at stewarding my own career path, I’ve managed to stretch my entrepreneur legs to a whole new level. As my own professional steward, I aim to prioritize mental well-being and intend to take frequent action to protect emotional balance, recover from daily stress and anxiety, and examine present challenges and perspectives. Yoga and meditation are my first language to uncover these aspects of the mental landscape but are often informed by other modalities like: music, art, dance, and cooking. 
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In my moment to moment basis, the breath serves as a key indicator but also an avenue to affect change upon a mental landscape in relation to our current motivations. If we are endeavoring to be creative but find lists of mundane errands running through our head at a loud volume, tuning into the breath may help us understand how the body is responding to this stimuli. Miraculously, as well, the breath is also a route for us to “reshape” a dissonant mental state. If we are able to turn our focus inward, we may discover that the breath is shallow, fast in pace, or labored. If we feel safe enough to do so,  with some effort,  we can lengthen the breath in its entirety, either by pacing the inhale and exhale or pausing between both at either end. Lengthening the breath is soothing to the nervous system and can help us move away from our strongest stress responses.

Sympathetic vs. Parasympathetic Nervous System

The Stress Response and Regenerative Systems in the Body

When we face a stimuli, the amygdala determines the appropriate response, according to a number of situational and inherent factors considered. If a threat is identified, the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is initialized. The Fight/Flight/Freak/Freeze Engine is thus activated. And depending on your genetic constitution, historic exposure to previous trauma and stress, and a number of other factors; its gears will serve to function as the overriding mode of our mental/emotional/psycho-spiritual capacities in any given situation. This response may be powerful, helpful, intoxicating, debilitating. Our modern lives dance around this system in sometimes unexpected ways.
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The sister of the SNS is the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). It encompasses the monitoring organs and glands that affect a range of processes that replenish, rebuild, and rejuvenate the body. The system can be accessed and with practice can be accessed with comfort and ease. The simplest way to tap into the PNS, but easier said than done sometimes, is to lengthen the breath cycle. This procedure demands a certain amount of mental focus that may take some time to develop depending on our previous relationship to our mental state. Some who have experienced severe trauma or neglect may experience surprising and unwanted effects when attempting to reflect or change the breath consciously. These include:  disorientation, flashbacks, and general discomfort within  the mental state. Slow and deep breathing, while steadily lengthening the breath all together is one of the most effective ways to activate the PNS. This system also conserves biophysical energy overall by lowering the heart rate, stimulating gastrointestinal and glandular activity, and making muscular preparations to clear the bowels- further relieving the body. It is because of these features the PNS is sometimes referred to as the “rest and digest system.” The PNS is our hero in this way. It’s what allows the body to heal itself. It’s what allows us to bounce back from the stresses and anxieties of our daily lives. It’s what frees us from our doom-scrolling, and ungrounded digital consumption. And it’s what can help us return to a sense of center.
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Thus Spake Maek
Nov. 14, 2020
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Poetry: series: clouds: other kinds of

11/11/2020

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Other Kinds of Clouds
Poetry Series: Clouds by Maek Modica

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Despite the grief worn contrast, there have been many clouds of late.
Some days they lay so thick and low around you there’s no escaping their vague embrace. 
And I’m not complaining, to be clear.

With their wash, thought builds upon thought.
And those careful enough to listen to a cloud’s sorrow and concern know what I mean.
Each faceted prism comprised can illuminate a majesty forgotten.

There are some clouds that bare no significance to us, seemingly.
And yet some birth so much more.
Some bear the weight some carry, those deeply wounded in whatever way.
You can feel the very hazen-coly texture the down-trodden cast.
Still, such strati can offer much.

Some whisper of song or fancy.
Some echo of past lives, stricken with reverberations of desperate mantra.
Yet, others can herald utter revelation.
The mightiest have claimed eureka in the corporeal shadow of their personal nimbostratus. 

Stark significance emerges plainly when one considers their sheer vastness. 
Such power, capable of astounding movement, motivation, maintenance. 
Sustaining and destroying. Cultivating and reshaping. 
Earth in song. A song in harmony. 

Those who have been moved, in area or other senses, by hurricane or storm know this power. 
The Artists of surviving, consumed, often site their impact in recounted tales,
While still embodying varying gleams of horror and awe.

Sometimes, when we’re surest, we can stand at their brink and just receive.
Whole epics- ballads, and symphonies pouring joyously,
Enriching our fountain brimmed.

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What spills out from cloud yearns to be witnessed. 
And what beauty!
Cataclysm and nurturance. 
Looming matron! Cascade into me.

I am open. Ready.
Love me without restraint and I promise I will embody the breadth of your gifts. 
Not one refraction wasted.

Monumental an undertaking as it is, 
Once married, clouds lock limbs with us and stride sweetly near.
Like Mary’s lambs, always sure to go where the wanderer takes them.
Little did we know, we could shepherd the wafty things above us as those hooved upon our grounds. 

In stillness, their inertia becomes apparent. 
They merely want most: to play.
Every step with a cloud, and every gesture lends insight.
And in perfect rhythm, harmonious oscillation, we glimpse their magnificence. 
Their very existence amazes. 
How does such a tightly bound symbiosis encompass multi-millions of constituents of wondrous variance?

And by that, what do I mean?
Is it not marvelous to wonder at the force, 
the very intricate cascade of natural phenomena,
that distinguished this molecule of weather minuta from another?
Where have the components of this convergence journeyed prior?
What reaches and depths have they witnessed? Endured? 
What pressures and folds have they followed?
What energies have they excited, emitted?
 
And I do declare, clouds are not shy.
In trusting, they divulge the epitome of plethora.
Their songs enchant, their thoughts inspire.
Their voices, wise. Their words, true. 

Thus Spake Maek
​Nov. 11, 2020
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Poetry: clouds: on being lost

11/9/2020

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On being lost
Poetry Series: Clouds, by Maek Modica


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Ha. Lo. A catastrophe! What now?
Where can you go that I can’t follow? Why do we dance so?
At times staring misery in her face and yet running from regret in the same breath.

This is what it’s like to be truly lost.
Mind enacts then heart falters. Emotions disperse captivation. Entropy ensnares. Body collapses. Then thought betrays. Repeat.
The greatest battle of the plain, spanning your entire lifetime.

Thus Spake Maek
​Nov. 9, 2020
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Mindfulness: guru means to me

11/7/2020

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What guru means to me, now
and a way to call to it

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Gnarly, the gnome, a character in a creative venture

As a part of my Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan teacher training in Austin, TX, it was shared that guru is actually composed of two Sanskrit phonemes. And the juxtaposition of these opposing phonemes is, like life, very poetic and intentional (of the yogis and yoginis of old). ‘Gu’ can be translated as darkness. ‘Ru’ can be translated as light. That being said, suddenly guru takes a new shape - a new translation is possible. That which takes you from darkness to light, ignorance/ unawareness to awareness/application of such awareness.


How can I relate?

After giving ourselves space to ground into the present moment and  to center, usually practitioners of Kundalini yoga “tune-in” using the Adi mantra. Adi is the Sanskrit ‘word’ that translates roughly to primal, beginning. The mantra goes, ONG NAMO GURU DEV NAMO. It’s translations and the complexities could be a whole blog in itself but the phrase ‘guru dev’ has special significance to yogis, especially of today. At least for me. 
‘Dev’ can be paraphrased as “subtle” or “that which cannot be seen, with the naked eye.” In essence, we are tapping into our own inherent guidance. I’ve communed/had conversations with my intuition from at a very young age, so this concept was immediately at home with established constructs. Now, I have a way to nod to this internal voice which guides my practice, listens to my spirit’s wants and desires, and can focus intensely enough to hear to what organs have to say. I am eternally grateful for my teachers, for the teachings they shared and for their teachers’ wisdom, and for the nature in all of us to look within- to wonder and explore the experience of self. 

Thus Spake Maek 
Nov. 7, 2020


​Maek Modica has been teaching yoga since 2011 and is certified as a Teacher of Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan and Radiant Child Yoga.
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Mindfulness: affect mental space, refresh mindset

11/5/2020

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Affecting our mental "state"
ways of establishing a new mindset 

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I have occasionally come across students who report that their mental space/state is often what prevented them from enjoying or getting anything out of yoga in the past. When I probe them a bit regarding their awareness surrounding the landscape of their mental state, it becomes clear why this happens with some many people. 
The preconceptions we carry regarding yoga’s efficacy and “what’s really going on” really paints us into a distant corner from the gold (the actual benefits) of yoga. I judge this is especially true with Kundalini yoga. When I first encountered some of these techniques and practices, I had much to say and even more excuses why they wouldn’t work for me or not at all. But with an open mind, perspectives can change. And with time I came to see why people keep going back to yoga. When I gave Kundalini yoga a genuine try, I was truly hooked. I’ve had a home practice in some form since. It’s my rock. My bastion, when the storm persists.

But what do we do when we have trouble finding space or a place for peace within? 
The constantly-reported barrage of information that makes up the new constellation of human understanding within/without us regarding the world developments since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic is/can be unsettling, in a figurative sense but also in a literal sense. Psyche is a captivating creature. It is entirely possible that, having no relative bookmarks for this experience (who’s with me?), our spirits/psyche have been toiling of late- grasping at any possible avenue of integration. But what exactly are we swallowing? And what do these new notions mean for our older, familiar constructs? For some, this may harken to an era of a sort of destruction. The very effort of “redefining” implies an often painful dismantling of a previously successful and now outmoded iteration. Beliefs are dear to us. When they have to “die” to make way for new ones, it can hurt. And, that hurt can manifest innumerably.

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And what if you’ve not even aware of this conundrum?
This discrepancy can feel like unease, unrest, restlessness, paranoia, fatigue, avoidance, and the list goes on. When we sit and center to initiate reflection, what comes back is sometimes frightening. And that can manifest as a multitude of avoidances and excuses that you put between yourself and yoga, practice. But mindsets change. And thankfully, the intuitive yogis and yoginis of old, tuned into their inner beings and discovered a plethora pf tools for internal transformation. That curiosity and application of will is what led to the facet establishment of what we know as yoga today. 
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Thus Spake Maek
Nov. 5, 2020

How to affect the mindset?
a life-hack, how to change your mental "landscape"
​by Maek Modica

The Run down:
  • 1.]Find space/time
  • 2.]Draw focus
  • 3.]Take stock
  • 4.]Breathe
  • 5.] Reflect
  • 6.] Repeat
The Details:
  • 1.) Find a space where you feel comfortable and safe enough to sit for a while
    • Sitting with the back against something, supported, if you don’t have much energy for sustaining an erect posture
  • 2.) If feeling calm/ steady, close the eyes and draw the focus to the natural flow of the breath (unaltered)
    • If feeling anxious/ unsettled, you can find a drishti, or focal point, within the room/ space,
      • You can also carry a photo/ yantra that you look at when meditating/centering
      • If you appreciate fire, you can light a candle and use the flame for a drishti

mental point of focus; the place where you are looking with your eyes when they are open and where your mind is currently “wondering” if your eyes are closed. "
Drishti

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  • 3.) Then take stock of your mental “state.” 
    • If this is an unfamiliar task, see if you can come up with an adjective descriptor of the “mood” of your mind.
      • Put another, ask yourself, “What “mood” is my mind in currently? what word would I use to describe this mood.
        • In actuality, these “moods” can actually be quite complex depending on how aware or unaware you are of your psycho-spiritual awareness and or/ psycho-emotional make-up
  • 4.) With a mental state in mind, find an appropriate breath practice, or pranayam.
    • Go to reference materials and find exercises designed to aid, abate your current state
    • Try them out!


Intentional and conscious psychic exertion upon the respiratory process of the body; exerted will upon the breath."
Pranayam(a)

  • 5.) Reflect again
  • 6.) Repeat this as desired

Thus Spake Maek
Nov. 5, 2020

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Poetry: series, clouds: love for words and song

11/4/2020

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A Love for Words, and Song

I'm proud of this baby.

I am constantly humbled by the play-craft of words 
forming music to a rhythm enchanted with verse. 


When I first discovered this phonic fascination,
I truly savored the fire that christens every carpal gesture.
I became a wordsmith at play with pen to page.
I began oft to scribble down thoughts in early day, or late, across spellbound canvases.
These products became voluminous, bursting their seams with audacity.
They still sting like a bandage torn off without warning.

And yet, I fostered a meager craft by feeding it crumbs.
While wading calmly, I cast repeatedly into the sleeping abyss to preserve my wild pieces.

Each expression nurtured a totem within.
And with time, I retreated into my own deeply cloistered sanctuary.
Like Kvothe in a story of a man becoming his own (Rothfuss),
A heart-like stone, cold but sacred, rose into relief at my center.
Within, resides a reservoir,
For reflection beyond plane.
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And when I finally permit myself to be within its gloriousness,
And tune into the many streams of thought, dancing like seeds in a wind,
First, Brother Fire comes alive.
Mother Earth then directs their dance with Sister Water, 
And Father Air gives further character to all.

I chant there, like a drum,
And feed thine Alchemyst a rhythm
That forms any dream from a patchwork pattern of breath,
And still has qi enough to forge truthful wishes into bright life.

That’s when the words come.
Like children let out of school for the longest summer break,
Almost pandering to be manifest as if coy bobbing for kibble.
They then pour like rain into prophet’s pyre,
And begin to sparkle as the sun rests in our perspective.

I love their chorus.
When I can bear it,
I pick each one up, and hold it, and look into its eyes,
And cherish what it can give to all of us. 

I am constantly humbled by the play-craft of words 
forming music to a rhythm enchanted with verse. 


​Thus Spake Make
Nov. 4, 2020
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Poetry: clouds: regarding the clouds I listen to

11/2/2020

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Regarding the clouds I listen to...
Poetry Series: Clouds by Maek Modica

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“I can hardly wait to find out what’s next.”

That’s where I’d want to be anyway. In a rhythm that affords relief. 

It’s close; I can feel it. 
I’ve witnessed many of them roll in in patient time -where each rest is intuitively eternal, like clouds.
Only in its wake will my disbelief finally be sated, my humor honored. 
I find I open just before it’s shadow, in reception, anticipating its many castings. 
If I sustain balance internal, I can access a pregnant chance to prize a symphony of impressions. 

Every cloud can tell a story, or holds a song’s complete melody and key.
Each shadow caresses every darkness within, stirring.
Each contact can motivate physical prayer, worship via intentional movement. 
Mind follows. Fancy abounds. Weightless worry withers into wits-about. 

Thus Spake Maek
​Nov. 2, 2020
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    Maek Modica

    Maek lives in Austin, TX and has been teaching yoga since 2011.

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