In these classes, I hope to help people integrate their experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic and the uncertainty of future life as we all attempt to adapt our ever-changing understanding of the world around us and the advances taken by many.
In my current experience, yoga is even more vital for grounding amongst the chaos and centering within my own being as connection can be scare and overriding messages can be troubling or unsettling.
After working as a shift leader at a residential treatment center for children who came from rough places, where I frequently experienced an extended state of overwhelm, I could barely sit on my mat. I prayed that I could find that rhythm of breath that calmed my nerves, soothed my sympathetic systemic response. By alas. Every time I closed my eyes, my body or mind convinced me that something, anything, was damn near important enough to get up from my mat to go... anywhere. …Most times I had to stop, not really knowing where to head, no knowing how to get what I needed. Some days, all I could do was sit on my mat and sway myself into a sort of stupor. It felt better than not even meeting my mat, not even reaching for that container for awareness. I am filled with boundless thanks for the golden chain* every time I make it through a practice. And yes, even now, as a practitioner of yoga for 13 years, and a teacher for 11, I only “make it through” practice some days. Life can take it out of you. And those days, yoga may only be swaying to the steady rhythm of your heart. And that’s okay. That’s beautiful.
What I needed in actuality was relief, release from the commitment to fulfill that position, as shift leader. But, it took me another few years to make it manifest.
My body, my nervous system, my spirit paid a toll. There are some days I wake up angry, or sad, regretting yesterday. Some days, the slightest comment misconstrued can send me into a guilt spiral that spans my entire lifetime. What do you do when you don’t know what to do anymore? Just breathe. Just sit. Just cry. Just be. Just sway. Just sing. Just keep breathing. *Golden Chain: the link of teachers throughout time, the carrying of the knowledge of yoga through teaching
Thus Spake Maek Oct. 26, 2020
Maek Modica has been teaching yoga since 2011 and is certified as a Teacher of Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan and Radiant Child Yoga.